This week, I want to share something very personal with you, in hopes that it will help you and your business.
Last week after having what seemed like a cold (including fainting spells) for six weeks, I went to see my doctor. As I was being led to the room where I would see the doctor, I fainted in the hallway. I woke up in the room with EMTs in addition to my doctor and his staff.
I was very scared when I woke up because I remembered feeling woozy in the hallway but nothing after that. When I was filled in and told that I was okay, I began to calm down… a little bit. I still knew that something was very, very wrong. They said my blood pressure was good, my heart looked great, and there were no obvious signs of an urgent need for the hospital, but my heart rate was unusually high indicating stress/anxiety. I actually check my resting heart rate often, so I knew it had been about 30 bpm too high… for the past six weeks.
So the EMTs left, and my husband (who showed up amidst the chaos) and I stayed to talk with my doctor.
Dr. Arimede asked me about my life lately; was there any added stress? I said no, of course; “I’m fine.” He then asked me if there were any important things going on for me lately. Then I had some answers!
So Many Things Going On!
I was so excited to soon be announcing my 50% ownership in another incredible company—so there is a lot of business administration work being been done on that, plus the risk and time that’s involved in buying a business and getting it moving. I was worried that I couldn’t do a great job with all of my other commitments.
I was so excited to support my husband in one of the most important fights of his professional MMA career—and he did win the title! Yay! It had definitely been hard to watch him take so many blows to the head though—I have never seen him take that long to win, and it really scared me. I had been worried about him for the first time in over eight years. I had taken on a lot of anxiety.
I had taken on a board position in our rotary club, one with incredibly huge potential, but also some challenging obstacles. I was feeling overwhelmed and somewhat defeated about it. I didn’t feel like I was doing a good job.
We had invested a TON of resources, time and money (and faith) into our new online courses. They are AMAZING, but I was feeling scared they wouldn’t sell, and impatient to see the ROI. I was feeling sick to my stomach about this.
Hours later I was still incredibly dizzy with a huge headache, and couldn’t stand up. So I did go to the hospital. They checked me for everything including mono. Thank goodness they confirmed it is just a virus. In Dr. Martin’s words, “Or maybe two or three viruses, because you’re not giving your body a chance to heal.”
My husband asked him, “Could you give her a doctor’s note for her boss?” I laughed and told the doctor I owned my businesses. He sternly told me to go home and get in bed and stay there until I was better. My husband said a resounding, “Yeah!” with an implied, “I told you so.”
I was told by both doctors, when you’re stressed, you can really weaken your immune system. This is why the virus I had was sticking around for so long.
He asked me how much time off I took. I didn’t have an answer. When they asked me if I felt stressed about any of those four major things I had going on, I started BAWLING like a little girl—ugly sob CRYING. I was scared, I was stressed, I felt picked on, I felt hopeless, I felt alone, I was overwhelmed, and so many other negative emotions.
He told me I needed to figure out how to reduce the stress. I told him, luckily I have an incredible mentor with whom I have bi-weekly sessions, and one was coming up.
Getting Back on Track
I saw my incredible mentor this weekend and learned a lot about myself (a lot of it was relearning). I also slept a lot. I slept for approximately 18 hours per day for three days. And now I feel all shiny and new and ready to hit the road running!
I feel all shiny and new but precarious at the same time. See, I’ve been here before. I work too much, I get sick. I don’t take any time off and book my calendar way too full, I fall down the stairs and break my arm. I say “yes” to way too many things and my appendix bursts. I don’t build in any breaks or eating time so I exist on energy drinks, and I get kidney stones.
I need to change the way I’m living my life so that I can stay living my life the way I want to! I am taking all of these signs very seriously. I got the message, I really did. If I don’t change, next time it could be something much worse. I might not get this chance again.
So Here Is What I’ve Learned
I will build in breaks and protect them like my most important meetings because I am my most important resource! No meetings with me can happen if I’m dead!
I need to plan to eat. I know this sounds ridiculous but I don’t eat any animal products at all, so it’s quite hard to grab things “on the go,” plus fast food in general is not a great idea. I have to spend hours every week prepping food, and actually bring healthy lunches and dinners, because I’m usually not home until 9 or 10 pm. Or maybe I will hire a vegan food-prepper… do you know anyone?
I will change the way I’m thinking about a task or situation so that I can still do it—but feel good doing it. When I think about any opportunities with fear, dread or any negative paradigm, they cause stress. HOWEVER, when I think of any of them with pride, excitement, joy, joyful anticipation, love, gratitude and any other positive paradigms, I feel GOOD. So I can keep everything in my life, I simply need to change the way I think about it.
If doing it doesn’t make me feel good, I will say no.
People are important, but sometimes you just have to ignore them when they’re acting negative/jealous/insecure. They’ll still be there when they’re in a better place, and then you can let them back in.
I MUST LOVE AND APPRECIATE MYSELF. This is the hardest one, and one I continue to learn over and over again. I need to acknowledge my strengths and my achievements, I need to feel great love and gratitude for my health and my body and mind.
I need to be a fan of myself! Being overly critical of myself makes me less effective. I think a lot of us could benefit from learning this. Being nice to yourself is the way to success, not the other way around. I tried that way for years and there’s a real ceiling to your success! Love yourself!
I need to LISTEN to my body! I fainted twice and had cold-like symptoms for SIX WEEKS before going to the doctor for it! Six weeks! Come on Kelli! The answer is not more caffeine, the answer is more rest.
This may not feel like the profound message I was building up to, but it is at the basis of everything real and true: when you feel good, when you spread love, not hate, when you think of things optimistically, love and appreciate yourself and others, and anticipate great joy and happiness, your body works better. What you focus on creates your results—think good thoughts and feel good feelings and get good results.
I am up to a lot of big things this year and many more to come so I plan to follow this advice as much as possible. And since I put it out into the interweb, I expect to be held accountable. Thank you to the friends who have already sent me lectures… I mean messages. I love you.
There’s a bonus profound message here: when you feel good, your body works better, and you’re happy, your life will flow so much more easily and you won’t believe the ease with which your dreams will all come true. Feel good, and the rest will come.
Feel good. The rest will come.
This was my most real and profound message.
If you need more help prioritizing and appreciating your time, contact TMH Business Coaching and Consulting today for a confidential, free, no-obligation consultation to propel you forward. Also, please feel free to add yourself to our weekly coaching tips email!