“Fake It Til You Make It” – No Thanks
Has anyone ever told you to “fake it until you make it?” How did that work out for you? It has never worked out for me, so I choose to subscribe to a different saying: Convince yourself with facts.
Here’s a video with an interesting perspective on “Fake it Til You Make It” that agrees with me:
What Stories Are You Telling Yourself?
The other day a client was asking me how on earth she was supposed to attend an event with a lot of people who were more “successful” than she was. This was just her story—it is not at all true.
I kindly explained to her that people only feel like they fit in, to the extent that they really like and appreciate themselves. A few minutes of thinking and writing solved her problem.
There are many stories you’re telling yourself that work against you too; try to find them and root them out—convince yourself with facts that they aren’t true.
Convince Yourself With True Facts About Yourself
In situations that intimidate you or make you feel uncomfortable, you need to use facts to convince yourself that you do belong, that you do matter, that you are successful, that you can do something, that you can make a difference as a leader, that you can find the answer.
For example, if you’re feeling like you don’t belong in a room full of “accomplished” people, write out a very long list of all of the things you have accomplished in your life. Start with passing kindergarten and grade one, and every single thing you can recall since then. When you finish that gigantic list of FACTS (things you’ve really accomplished) you will feel more accomplished. You will feel more comfortable in that room.
Who Are You? No, Seriously, Who Are You?
Another example is in leadership, and wondering, “Who the heck am I anyway to be up here spouting this to all of my staff?” Who are you? Yes, who are you? Write down who you are!
Write down all the compliments and thank yous you have received over the years, all of the minor and major accomplishments you’ve created in your business, all of the memories or awards you’ve received that prove great leadership, all of the people who have accomplished any and every little thing under your leadership. List all of the leadership books you’ve read, the podcasts you’ve listened to, the companies you’ve run, the mentoring you’ve received, the courses you’ve attended, and the things that you have done to improve your leadership (like reading this email!)
Here’s an article on “19 Steps to Boost Your Self-Esteem Quickly” – get to know all the awesome things you’ve done!
No More Self-Sabotage!
Now, if you’re a perfection-wanter and a sometimes-self-sabotager like me, you’ll want to tackle that next! Check out the book “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks if you tend to self-sabotage when you’re getting uber-successful!
I know you will have an amazing week if you convince yourself with facts, and avoid self-sabotage! I know I will!
If you need more help avoiding self-sabotage, contact TMH Business Coaching and Consulting today for a confidential, free, no-obligation consultation to propel you forward. Also, please feel free to add yourself to our weekly coaching tips email!